10 Amazing Last-Minute Gifts

If you're a pathetic slacker like me when it comes to buying Christmas presents, you probably need some ideas for last-minute presents.

In all fairness, I went Christmas shopping last week, but ended up coming home with a new shiny bra, a Best of the 80's boxset and some flavoured vodka - all for myself.

So instead of actually going out and braving the crazy masses in search of half-decent presents, I'd rather sit and google tips and ideas on how to get the perfect last minute present.
Bloody typical.

Anyway, here's one of my more entertaining finds, courtesy of AskMen.com

Whether it’s Bono securing his tax haven in Amsterdam ahead of a UNICEF summit or Charlton Heston hogging bullets at the annual Guns and Granny Apples fruit pick, the human mind is hardwired to ensure that each individual is their own first priority. Unfortunately, this psychological bias often comes into conflict with many of the norms and conventions we find in everyday life, such as conceding the last copy of Mean Girls to a 13-year-old or having to refrain from siphoning gas out of your boss’ car.

But on the whole, the event that brings to light this inevitable “me-first” mentality more than any other is the exchange of gifts on Christmas morning -- or as is often the case, the lack of gifts to exchange on your part.Hey, we’re all adults here and we’re mature enough to understand that dissecting which CD would complete your postman’s music collection or deliberating what smell a scented candle should have in order to make your boss happy (the answer is fear) should not take priority over acquiring the money/food/calories needed to survive.

But thankfully, because we are well aware that our minds will always put working and surviving ahead of, uh… NERF, we’ve compiled a list of 10 of the best, unique, last-minute gifts that will give your friends, family and acquaintances the impression that you’ve been laboring over this holiday for months.

Number 10
Self-Stirring Mug
It’s a well-known fact that humans spend approximately 1.3 years out of their entire lives stirring beverages. Okay, I made that up, but that doesn’t negate the fact stirring things like sugar and creamer into coffee is a nuisance, with the wet, sticky stirring spoons/sticks and all. And it’s because of this minor yet annoying process that this 3,000 rpm self-stirring mug from Hammacher.com has become a budding phenomenon across the nation’s homes and offices. Seethed in a stainless steel exterior and only requiring two AAA batteries for power, this self-stirring mug will ensure a happy Christmas morning by allowing grandma to mix her patented “tequila tea” all by herself.

Number 9
Handsfree Can Opener
Just like children, the more autonomous a kitchen appliance is the better. And one of the latest kitchen tools to make the transition from "manual utensil" to "automated appliance" is the can opener. Available from SharperImage.com, the portable, battery-powered Handsfree Can Opener travels around a can, cutting a flat edge just below the rim. Moreover, when the Handsfree is finished cutting, the lid of the can lifts off safely without any jagged edges.

Number 8
Electronic "Ice Bucket" with 10-Temperature Thermostat
Drinking a fine white wine that has settled to room temperature is akin to driving a Lamborghini that’s been topped off with mayonnaise instead of gasoline. With this nasty fact in mind, make any wine lover (or wine drinker for that matter) extremely “merry” this holiday season with the Electronic “Ice Bucket” from SharperImage.com. Equipped with 10 preset temperatures, ranging from 35°F to 122°F, this "Ice Bucket" holds any standard 90 mm bottle of wine and possesses a blinking LED that lets you know when it has reached the desired temperature.

Number 7
Bath Caddy
Over the years, movies have perpetuated a lot of myths that have seeped into the public consciousness, such as violence being relatively bloodless and that baby pigs are fully capable of talking to other animals and saving agricultural institutions from financial ruin. But there is one scene shown constantly on TV and the silver screen that simply isn’t true: The relaxing bath with a book and a glass of wine. In reality, the book gets wet/ruined and one is very lucky if their drinking glass doesn’t get knocked off the tub and shatter into pieces. Thankfully, here to put an end to one of life’s unsuspecting terrors is the Bath Caddy from IWantOneThose.com. The Caddy is simply an apparatus that sits over your tub and is equipped with a book holder, 2 wine glass holders, a candle holder, and three-built in compartments to hold other relaxing items or, possibly, a Christmas handgun.

Number 6
Carganizer
Let’s face it: The only thing keeping most commuters from living in their automobiles 24/7 are the stringent laws concerning in-car happy hours. Either way, for most drivers the car has become one big mess drawer, and just like a mess drawer located inside a house, these mobile messes need organization. So here to help out is the Carganizer from Magellans.com. Made of 600-denier packcloth and designed to rest either on a car seat or the floor using grip strips, the Carginizer holds CDs, wet wipes, soft drinks, and maps using modifiable divider. In addition to its center storing area, the Carginizer possesses front pockets for cell phones and sunglasses, mesh side compartments for tissues, gloves and PDAs, and a cover pocket ideal for notes and receipts.

Number 5
Mathmos Airswitch Lamp
Honestly, when it comes to lamps, is it really wise to have semiconscious human beings fumbling around in the dark trying to control enough electricity to kill a chicken? Thankfully for you and everybody you forgot to buy Christmas presents for, there are now Airswitch Lamps available from Mathmos.com. Standing at approximately 10” and available in a variety of colors, the Airswitch turns on its light when it senses a hand passing by its top, while it can be dimmed or brightened if a hand is raised or lowered above the lamp.

Number 4
Laser-Guided Pool Cue
From assassinations to teasing kittens, lasers make everything easier. And now for the holiday season lasers are going to make pool playing and gift-giving much more straightforward. Comprised of two 58" pieces with secure a microfiber grip and an aluminum joint and ferrule, this cue possess an on/off button that triggers a guiding laser that allows you to set up the perfect shot. As a bonus, this cue available at Hammacher.com, also comes with two tip scuffers, two chalks, three replacement leather-tipped ferrules, and a hardside, zippered, nylon carrying case.

Number 3
American Express Gift Cards
Though a gift certificate may seem like a failsafe present, they can and often do end up being misguided. For example, how many of us have bought a wine-shop gift certificate for a relative who doesn’t drink or a book-store voucher for someone who turned out to be an idiot? But don’t worry; the days of coughing up dough for unwanted gift certificates are over thanks to American Express Gift Cards. Available from the American Express website, Gift Cards are valid at virtually any store, from the classiest beer garden to the most prestigious salon. What’s even better is that Gift Cards never expire, they grant users numerous discounts at various retailers, are replaceable if stolen or lost, and come personalized in a golden envelope.

Number 2
MOTOQ™
In the past, when we wanted to compartmentalize a human being into the smallest size possible, we had to wait until they passed away and then cremated them. But now thanks to the MOTOQ™, living, breathing human beings can now centralize every part of their lives into the same 4.6" x 2.5" x .45" space. Besides being the thinnest QWERTY device in the world, the MOTOQ™ possesses an exhaustive array of functions, including a high-quality speaker phone, 1.3-mega pixel camera, Bluetooth-enabled accessories, gaming capabilities, access to the web and e-mail, MP3s, videos (both downloaded and personally shot), and a mini-SD removable memory card.

Number 1
Massaging Foot Warmer
Though love is technically the best gift you can give, massages are in practice one of the most gratifying presents a man or woman can receive. So this year, invest in a loved one’s physical and emotional sanity by not only providing them with a 3-speed, remote-controlled foot massager with optional heat emission, but also a massager that is housed in thick plush lining with Contour-Foam cushioning.

honorable mention

Toilet Dog Bowl
The same way that the most pleasing gift to an alcoholic is a keg of beer, the most gratifying gift you can give to a dog owner is something that makes their pet cuter and more loveable. And that’s exactly what this water bowl shaped like a toilet does. Simply place a two liter bottle in the toilet’s “tank” and let gravity along with Spot’s lack of dietary dignity turn this year’s Christmas morning into the cutest holiday ever.

think merry thoughts...
One of the most stressful things about Christmas is that everybody from your nieces’ teachers to the guy who hit your dog last year is expecting a gift from you. Luckily, presents like the ones listed above are pretty much applicable to anyone with a pulse and who doesn’t possess a mortal fear of gifts. So play it safe this year: Get online, get your credit card and start getting this stress over with.